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This St. Patrick’s Day, let’s take a stroll down memory lane with another garbage Leprechaun movie. Leprechaun is back in this weird and utterly unwatchable sequel to the original classic. This time, he’s not after his gold; he’s after a wife. You may be thinking, “But I thought he died in the first one?”, and you’d be right. I seem to recall a scene at the end of the original in which he chokes on a four-leafed clover and falls down a well and explodes, but apparently that wasn’t enough to keep a good Leprechaun down. I don’t have an actual explanation for his revival because the sequel doesn’t bother explaining, either. They could have easily had a scene at the beginning in which Leprechaun pulls himself out of the well and regenerates from his burned state back to normal and just scurries off into the woods, but instead they chose to begin this film by showing us a flashback sequence explaining why he needs a wife. What a missed opportunity.

I have a theory that this film was written and created because someone on the film-making team was sleeping with the actress that plays the Leprechaun’s soon-to-be wife. I don’t have any proof but I cannot fathom why they would create such an awful sequel, or why the hell they would cast Shevonne Durkin at all, let alone as the main love interest. This woman is by far the worst actress I’ve ever seen in a horror film, and I’m including B-horror. I cannot explain enough how excruciating ┬áit is to sit through a scene while she’s talking. I don’t have anything personal against this woman, but if I had to listen to her voice any longer I would have thrown my head through the TV. For those of you thinking, “Oh she couldn’t have been that bad,” I invite you to please watch this film, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

As far as the plot is concerned, it leaves much to be desired. The original had the Leprechaun chasing his gold and killing anyone who got in his way. It was simple, sufficient, and needed no explanation. This time, instead he’s searching for a wife to enslave – who also is the ancestor of a woman he previously tried to enslave hundreds of years ago, (because reasons), so they can live out their lives in his tree-fort. I’m not kidding. In order to enslave a bride, she must sneeze three times without anyone saying “God bless you”, after which he may put a choke collar on her and drag her to his Leprechaun dungeon inside a magical tree. The story is ridiculous and frankly nobody cares about any of this – all we want is a good Leprechaun horror film with some rhyming, maiming, and mayhem.

The death scenes are somewhat creative at least, with one memorable one in particular in which a man is tricked into thinking the fan blades of a lawn mower is actually a naked woman – you can see where this leads. Another cringe-worthy scene depicts a greedy old man wishing for Leprechaun’s pot of gold, so Leprechaun happily manifests the giant metal pot inside the man’s stomach. These scenes make you forget you’re watching a garbage movie and instead you find yourself laughing or cringing – basically enjoying yourself. You know, what you’re supposed to do with a bad horror movie. I feel like if these scenes were in a different movie then we would have a promising Leprechaun movie, but instead we’re forced to listen to Shevonne Durkin in some dumb ‘bride of Leprechaun’ story. Again, what a missed opportunity.

This movie is…

horror-ble

The death scenes almost make it watchable, but don’t be fooled – the acting kills this movie.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!