A paraplegic woman living with her wealthy, verbally abusive mother receives a mysterious package – a doll. More specifically, Chucky. Immediately discarded in a trash can, no one suspects Chucky of being the psychopathic mass murderer that he is… until the young woman finds her mother in a pool of blood later that night. As her mother’s blood fills the living room, we see the distraught woman crouched in her wheelchair, crying to the police on the telephone as the title fades onto the screen – giving us quite possibly the most depressing Chucky opening sequence I’ve ever seen.

Still better than Seed of Chucky…

1. Oh my God what a slowly-paced movie. At first, I thought this was going to be a sort of independent, low budget film, which would explain why we don’t see a lot of animation on Chucky’s part, but I found out the budget was around $5 million. However, for the first half of the movie we only see Chucky talk in his doll voice, rotate his head, and then the occasional off-camera shot of an arm reaching into frame. Maybe they were trying to build suspense, but we’re on the sixth movie, guys. We know what to expect by now. Chucky’s alive – we get it. That sense of surprise is long gone. At least give the audience the benefit of seeing Chucky be himself when he’s not around other people.

2. The entire movie takes place in the same house. This fact didn’t help the slow pace of the film, nor did it make any sense considering the studios they had backing this movie. Sometimes we would get a small glimpse of the outside world – like a car wreck, but even that took place after the wreck had already happened. So our 3-minute break from the slow dialogue in the house consisted of more slow dialogue between cops staring at a wrecked car.

3. Wow. Hate religion much, guys? Well, then this movie will be right up your alley. I don’t know what happened to the creators of this film to make them have such animosity toward faith, but they sure do shove it down your throat every chance they get. The young woman makes dinner for her sister and her family, who have brought their catholic priest with them, but suddenly the priest excuses himself from the table and drives away. See, Chucky poisoned his soup with rat poison – just his soup. That car wreck I referred to earlier? That was the priest, and when the cops removed the car hood, the priest’s head falls off and we see his severed hand clutching a crucifix. Back to the house, we discover the young woman’s sister is having an affair with the nanny – who we see caressing the crucifix around her neck. After they’re finished, the woman’s sister tucks her daughter into bed, where her daughter informs her that there is no God. Mind you, this girl is maybe six or seven years old. Finally, we fast forward to the end of the movie where we see Chucky clutching a knife and screaming about God not existing. What the hell? Since when are Child’s Play movies so religious, or anti-religious? It doesn’t quite sync with the rest of the film and is really off-putting.

4. I couldn’t hold back my laughter when I saw how Chucky walked. It was like someone was controlling him like a puppeteer with magnets in his shoes, so every time he walked his feet would snap to the floor – not intimidating at all. Chucky is also apparently immune to everything in this film, even having his head chopped off. He gets stabbed, decapitated, shot, beat up, and every time something happens to him, he just turns back into his stationary “doll” form. You can only watch someone attack a plastic doll so many times before it just looks ridiculous. I couldn’t believe it. They had such a slow, drawn out build up and then this was the prize we got for enduring it all? An awkwardly moving plastic doll with an emo haircut?

5. Ready for the twist? Charles Lee Ray (Chucky’s name back when he was a human) is revealed to have known the young woman’s mother back before the first Child’s Play movie. Remember when the cops pulled up to his house in the first film? Well apparently, he was inside with the young woman’s mother duct taped to the couch – pregnant. When Charles Lee Ray discovered the police at his door, he decided to stab the pregnant woman in the stomach, thus causing the main character to be paraplegic. Back to the present, after Chucky reveals all of this, a cop walks in and arrests the paraplegic woman for the murders of everyone in the house. She has a trial, is found guilty, and sent to live in a mental hospital. This whole sequence is such a let down. No grand finale, no retribution for the young woman, no final stand-off between Chucky and, well, anyone. She just goes to jail… but it’s not over. A cop steals Chucky to sell him, but is killed by Jennifer Tilly. That’s right. She mails him to the little girl from earlier in the movie, who is in surprisingly good spirits considering her entire family is dead and her aunt is in a mental hospital. There, we see Chucky perform his ritual to posses her body – and the film cuts to black. Guess what? It’s still not over. In an even more confusing scene, we see Chucky delivered to yet another house. Uh, didn’t he just posses that girl’s body? What happened with that? Did it not work out? Are we just ignoring that whole scene? Anyway, the young man Chucky was delivered to this time is revealed to be Andy Barclay (the child from the first 3 films). Chucky pops out of the box just in time to get shot in the face by Andy holding a shotgun, destroying any hope for a future movie.

In closing, it’s not as good as the first two movies, but it definitely sets the bar higher than the last movie. It’s funny, I was hoping for another Chucky movie for a long time, and when I came across this I got really excited, but once again my hopes have been crushed by a bunch of filmmakers who care more about seeing their “vision” on screen than they do about actual plot and consistency. It’s really not worth the time to watch it, but since it is a sequel some people might feel compelled to anyway.

This movie is…
Avoid this one.

Cheers and goodnight.